Wednesday, December 29, 2004
ah well... went jogging with pauline they all today... well, end up only me isaac and gavin running... stupid huh?? don't know wad is happening to agnes... she now really is freaking me out lor... i'm totally freak out... oh man... thx to einstein... without him to joke with me i think i will slap agnes sooner or later... ah well... i'm hurted and dats all i can say for today...
i always try my best
to smile at you
may it be sad
angry, happy
or even hurt
but you didn't realised
you don't even care about me
all you think was that
i was just someone who
can be taken advantage of
you didn't even know that
every word u said
every things you do
you hurted my heart
but what else can i do
except smiling at you
like nothing happened??
i'm so tired been an angel
i need to bear peoples burden
but theres nobody to help me
to carry all these burden
theres no one who are willing
to lend a helping hand towards me
i feel so helpless
i truely hope that theres
someone who is always there
for me when i need help
i can't be helping people
all the time!!
theres times which i need help too
but why can't people understand me?
why can't they help me just once??
why must they hurt me???
why must they do all these to me????
i truely don't know
now theres no one to care about me
and i had to care for everyone
i'm tired...
i need to take a rest...
i wonder if theres someone
who can take over my place
may it be one day or years
or perhaps forver
well, i truely hope theres
someone like this exist
so i may rest in peace
after so much things
its so tiring after all this
i can't even have a peaceful day
or even a peaceful sleep
these things is inside my mind
turning round and round everyday
and its getting worst day by day
i can't endure it any longer
i need help
i'm not as strong as everybody thinks
i'm human too
i got my own feelings
and i DO feel tired
i do feel hurt
but it seems like people
doesn't know that i got feelings
and they just treat me for granted
when they are alone
i'm a treasure to them
but when they have friends
i'm just a dirt infront of them
why is life so unfair?
must i be the only one
who is suffering from all this??
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
ah well, today really is a damn bad day for me man... i really really hate all the things around me man... and i really do MEAN it!! oh great... so many stupid things happening... really man.. lord u must be joking... did cried abit in e bus today while listening to some songs ya.. oh well, really miss her lotz man... finally can see her again in 1 weeks time... its like i'm waiting for her for a few years like that... time sure go very slow... now i'm really tired... so stressed, so tired, so hurt and i can't rest despite of all this... i need to move on... i need help.. really...
Monday, December 27, 2004
oh man... tis few days really sux ya... so many stupid conflict coming out... all rite... and worst of all is dat e conflict starts right after christmas!! oh man.. it really sux man.. i hate it!!
y must ppl quarrel with eachother??
y can't they just calm down n slowly think
of wad happened before they say anything??
y can't ppl give way to eachother??
y must ppl think of those negative things
rather den those positive things??
y can't ppl think of other ppls feeling??
must we quarrel??
well, i dun understand!!
is quarrel a must??
is misunderstand a must??
well.. I DON'T KNOW!!
all i know is dat tis world SUX!!
y can't ppl just be more sensitive to eachother,
be more caring, compassionate, understanding
and live in peace??
i really dun get it!!
life is just so damn strange
everything seems to be so right
but it only happened in e outside
but do u know wad is in e inside??
its internal conflict!!
oh man... really sux man...
Sunday, December 26, 2004
haiish... today went to church to be e christmas tree again... aiyo... agnes they all ar... dress me up like a SARS patient rather den a christmas tree... humpf... so jialat... kana sabo as christmas tree for continuous 2 days... haiish... so suay sia... den at church there having a combine sunday school with those children... haha its cool!! those children is just so cute!! hees... den after church go bernard's hse watch naruto comic... e comic is nice lor... so nice to watch... den watch till 2.30 den go sheryl hse... at there play alot sia... haha so fun!! play basketball at there for very long sia... den at there stay till 7pm den darrell they all go home liao... den accompany bernard they all to wait for agnes they all... reach home at abt 9pm... haha... today quite tired de... but really enjoy alot norhz... love tis year christmas!! so fun!! hees...
mei ar... dun sad le worhz... ur kor will alwayz be there for u de.. so must cheer up and take care worhz...
Friday, December 24, 2004
muahaha...
today went to orchard
to celebrate christmas eve!!
haha it was fun over there!!
everyone was just so "high"!!
haha.. we went to orchard
at about 8pm
den we reach there at abt 9pm
after dat we went to e fun fair
haha those bear bear is just so cute!
after e fun fair
we walk to Lido's Mac..
we played UNO there...
haha it was fun!!!after dat we walk around
and we brought spray!!
haha it was fun spraying other ppl!!everyone is just so mad abt christmas
its being so long since i felt so happie b4
really gonna thx rebekah they all ya..
hees... we got drink beer over there too
well, i love beer..
hehe...
but me n einstein help robin n ben to drink
coz its like its too much for them...
think they 2 too proud le bahz...
den dun wanna stop even if
they 2 cannot take it...
aiyo..
so its like we are crazy tonite!!
we didn't stop playing till we reach e mrt!!
haha its fun.. really...
hope we can play again for new year eve..
love this kind of event ^^
haha all rite!!
ending my blog here ya??
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
hmm... went to escape with jonathan, pauline, annabelle, phoebe and agnes today... well, really enjoy alot over there!! hees... we played alot game and we crap alot also... annabelle is kinda funny man... she's so crappy!! oh man i can't stand her nonsense... we stay at escape until about 8pm then we go seperate way home... don't why after i sended annabelle and pauline to the bus stop... i goto white sand shopping i still can see agnes there... think is fate... well... today sheryl called me!! haha i'm so happy when she called me!! actually i though that she is coming back tomorrow.. but who knows she came back today... very surprised to receive her call at first ya... oh ya... annabelle gave me a glow in the dark pig too... haha... its cute!! love that gift... hees... hope we can get a chance to go out again soon... really enjoy alot with them!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
well... went for dental appointment again today... erm... reach there then realised that today is other dentist attending me... yup, he is quite a nice person... at least lotz better then e pervious 1... stay till 10am then i went to skmc.. reach skmc at about 11am.. well, went there to help up steven they all at decoration stuff... its cool!! oh man i love to decorate, its so much fun!! and i saw donna at 372.. ah well... kinda scare of her now man... at least we didn't play in the bus... ya... scared that we will "play" inside bus.. but luckily, nope... well, thats good.. hehe... so i stayed at skmc today for 6 hours today doing those decoration!! haha its fun.... love to cooperate with gabrielle at decorating the room... hehe... we crap alot while we decorating the room... haha... enjoy this kind of thingy alot... but what makes me angry is sally, oh well... she is really a idiot ya?? why can't she leave all these things to us?? why must she scold steven when we didn't buy balloons for decoration?? can't we change a little bit of our orginal plan?? we are trying to help church to save money ok?? its not like we are trying to spoil our orginal plan... just a little change won't die isn't it?? oh man... really hate sally alot... when the PA system has something wrong she still want to get involved in it... what does she want?? she don't even know anything about PA system and yet she want to interfere?? no way!! she is just trying to act in my point of view!! she is just using us ( youth ) to help her work... i really don't know why Paster Lek can trust sally so much... oh well... guess my complain is enough... don't wanna spoil the mood of those reading my blog ya?? haha sorry guys for reading my complain... sorry for wasting your time ya?? well, just take care all!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
haiish... si einstein today morning keep on calling me to disturb me... oh man... kinda tired today... afternoon actually wanna go register ite courses de... but e webby down... so i went to wee leong de hse to register norhz... aiyo... at wee leong hse quite fun de la... we crap alot lor... den keep on bullying suyu... hehe.. so fun de... kinda regret y last time nv go out with wee leong they all... but nbm la.. now at least better abit liaoz... we stay till about 4pm then we went to orchard shopping for christmas present... warh... orchard quite boring de nehz... but i like the clothes there... dunno should i buy anot... i quite long nv buy clothes for myself liaoz... den we go to suntec shopping... ok larh... quite fun de... den saw some really nice shoes... oh man... i wanna buy it!! its so nice!! but den coz i buy new wallet for $53 so i no money left liaoz... so need to wait for awhile before i can buy new shoes liaoz... haiish... hope after christmas the price will drop from $109 to $80+ bahz... really wanna buy it!! hmm... brought something for my church friend oso... hope they will like it bahz... now still left happy meal n brother meal's present nia... dunno wad to buy for them sia... aiyo... headache sia... need to go out on other day to find some more present liaoz... haiish... going bankrupt soon...
Monday, December 20, 2004
today went for the One Camp gathering
erm.. well..
it was fun!!
quite tiring though
need to cycle for 1hr+
well..
because we are stupid
haha ya
we can rest anytime
but we didn't rest
ya but i really enjoy alot
so happie that
i went for One Camp
if i didn't went for it
don't think i will know
so many friends ya?
hmm.. well..
today had some sort
of quarrel with agnes
ah crap...
we alwayz quarrel
without any reason..
its kinda funny isn't it?
perhaps we are
just crappy thats all
and i finally chatted
with gabrielle today
its kinda funny man
i know her for lets say..
8 months??
but we didn't chat at all
haha its quite crappy ya?
guess i'm getting
more and more crappy
each day
haha well,
think thats all
Merry Christmas to everybody!!
( well, just wishing u a early christmas )
Saturday, December 18, 2004
ah well, today our church got a children christmas party... well... erm.. the program is fun.. ya, and james, jowell, josh they all is just so cute!! i really enjoy this kind of event :) hees... love those kids alot!! they are just so cute n inncoent :) haha!! but 1 bad thing is that the programme is tiring... ya... and today my darling finally call me "darling" le!! hees... so happie... but sorry worhz darling.. today cannot call u... coz got edna :P call u i die liaoz... haha... later kana box... hmm... tmr if i got see u den i call u bahz... erm... then today sheryl fly to korean liaoz... *sob sob* will miss u de nehz... must take care over there ar!! hao hao zhao gu ni de shen ti worhz!!
Angela ar.. now u really fall sick liaoz nehz... noe u so long liaoz neber see u so sick b4... really worhz... must take care of ur health... even if sally call u back to church u also can reject de marh... so sick liaoz still go back church.. i very worried of u lehz... haiish... hope u get well soon bahz... will pray for u de... take care alwayz...
Friday, December 17, 2004
all rite
took my result today
and what happened??
oh man
i'm such a failure
y can't i get a better result??
i know i can do better
but i didn't work hard
all i do is just play
and play and play
y didn't i spend more
time to study
instead of playing??
ok..
what happened now??
get such a damn sucks
result for my exam
perhaps its my
punishment?
well, i don't know
all i know is that
i'm a damn failure
and thats the truth
can't change it anymore
think thats it ya...
can't face my family anymore
and worst till
i can't face myself!
oh man..
oh ya...
thank alot to
derrall
rebekah
royston
steven
sally
and my dar dar
really thanks
u all for cheering
mi up...
really apprectiate it
sadness filled my heart
Thursday, December 16, 2004
haiish... tomorrow N level result coming out le... oh man... kinda nervous now... really hope can get good result for my N level... come and think of it, its been almsot 3months since my N level ended... but to me, its like i had just taken my N level last week and now i'm taking my result!! time sure go fast without u knowing ya?? i still can remember last time studying with suyu they all... then slowly left me and sebast.. then in e end left me studying... yup.. its kinda hard to study on my own.. without some1 to teach u isn't that good actually... oh well... at least i had no regret now.. had done my best to study, i'm sure god won't disappoint me ya?? hmm.. ok.. good luck for all my friends who took N level worhz... god bless!
oh ya..
darling!!
u got see moi blog marh??
hees
quite fun chatting with u de
alwayz got crap to say
hehe
den sometimes mi
say bu li ni etc
is joking nia lehz...
so dun take it in heart k??
haha..
abit scare u will
take it serious worhz
haha
so.. darling forgive mi k??
hees... dun angry le
later edna see liao box mi lehz
say i bully u
kk...
when i see u in msn
den talk to u bahz
take care!!
miss u!
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
all right... today morning wake up den go isaac hse to get new shoes!! haha so happy sia!! then after that go gavin de hse slack slack then goto causeway alone... yup.. quite lonely de... think too used to go out with agnes le, so feel kinda lonely at causeway point.. thats good or bad?? i dunno... well, kinda sad that today we are not having gathering anymore... really miss ade n rachel they all!!! and tomorrow how?? oh man... i'm dead... should i go out with sebast or agnes... oh man!! i'm so dead... gonna chose either sebast (frenz) or agnes... if chose sebast ltr agnes angry... if chose agnes ltr sebast angry... arghHH!! i'm traped!!! i need some help man... really need help now...
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
haiish... another boring day.. staying at home whole day helping rachel to play neopet.. oh man.. its so boring... yup... finally going to complete that stupid neoquest soon n thats it!! nahz... dunoe whats happening to mi nowadays, seems to get lazier day by day... oh well, that sux... and i had to admit it... and tomorrow nt meeting my one camp frenz oso... so sad... really miss rachel n ade they all... hope can meet them before holiday end bahz.. but... well, rachel mum object her meeting us... thats bad u know... so today slack at home 1 whole day using com.. chat wif brenda at night.. haha.. we sure crap alot ya?? so many nonsense.. n brenda became my darling too!! haha its fun chatting wif her.. thx to her too, now i got more songs in my com... hees... so happy... oh ya!! tomorrow going to isaac hse to take my new shoes!! haha so happy!! i know isaac for so many years n this is his 1st time buying things for me!! think tomorrow i will go causeway point shopping after isaac hse bahz... hope can find e gundam puzzle!! oh man... it really take ages to find that puzzle... 8mths had gone n i still can't find it... ah crap.. this must be a joke ya??
Monday, December 13, 2004
haha today went out with sebast they all, oh well.. its was fun going out with them... at least derrall joke alot n thats a good thing :) hmm, went to pasir ris to bowl today.. then went to sheryl de hse... haha i love playing things related to sports!! today played basketball with derrall they all.. yup, its fun!! went to play pool n table tennis after basketball!! oh man.. perhaps i ddn't play those games for too long le... so can't really aim well u know... yup, had alot of fun over there... reach home quite early today... oh well.. guess i'm used to hanging out late at night ya?
today saw ade's blog
yup
found something very true
its really hard to find
a guy who truely loves u
20 signs to recognise the strong love a guy holds for his beloved..
1. he willingly does anything and everything for his beloved..
with sincerity not coercion
2. he constantly wants to humour his beloved and tends
to be more talkative
3. he tends to advise his beloved more as he truly loves her
and wants her to be a better person
4. he tries to restrict her freedom due to his overwhelming jealousy
5. he constantly fears losing his beloved
6. he always monitors his beloved's movements as he feels insecure
7. he hates the idea of other guys being close to his beloved
8. he becomes jealous and sensitive when his beloved
pays less attention to him
9. he becomes the most hardworking person and
help his beloved to do anythin n everythin
10. he becomes restless when his beloved's away for too long
11. he cares for his beloved more than he does himself
12. he constantly asks if his beloved loves him as
he feels his love is greater than his beloved's
13. he would not be bothered wif other gals who dun hold
any importance to him
14. he will try to spend a lot of time wif his beloved even tho he knows
he'll end up waiting for his beloved
15. he praises his beloved in front of others
16. if his beloved leaves him, he cant trust any other girl and
wishes for his beloved to come back to him
17. when there's a third party, he loses his mind and is willing
to do anything to fight for his beloved
18. he makes sure he ensures her safety at all times
19. he is like a small kid who fights for constant attention from his beloved
20. he treats his beloved as his most trusted one
and willing to sacrifice all of his wealth
it's not easy to find guys who would shed their tears just for girls.. so pls treasure them...
this is what i think is very true
even though guys
are tough at times
they are very soft in heart
towards their love one...
ya... after reading this
i kinda miss u u know??
well, thinking of u all
this times...
dunoe how are u doing now
really miss u alot
miss those times talking with u
those times chatting on sms with u
those times going out with u..
oh man..
feel like talking crap now
all right...
nevermind
i will continue to wait for u
as long as i can live...
thats my promise to u
yup
didn't forgot those promise
i made to u
oops.. guess i had write too long..
just wanna tell u i miss u
think thats all for now ya??
miss u lotz...
Sunday, December 12, 2004
haiish... today morning 9am angela call me den ask me go service... lolx... then faster go bath etc n take taxi to angela grandma hse then go church... reach church at abt 9.30... then outside the sanctuary angela cannot find her name tag... haha.. its kinda funny... oh well, at sunday school we sing song then we seperated into 2 teams.. we are supposed to build a tower as high as possible using straw in 20 mins, erm.. yup, its fun!! i just love sunday!! its just so much fun seeing all my friends around!! after the sunday school end we got crew/leader gathering... we got a pouch, a key chain n a pot... well, its kinda boring over there u know?? hearing them talking all the time, nearly fall asleep while hearing them talking... we end our gathering at about 5pm bahz... reach home at 6pm+... and chat with rachel through e-mail again... hahas... ya, julian didn't reply my sms yet!! oh man... faster decide our date for gathering ya?? me n rachel really really miss u guys!! all right, thats all... bye all n take care alwayz!!
Saturday, December 11, 2004
haha went to city hunter(our church program) today, yup its fun! oh man i love this game!! well, i just love finding things thats all... hees... i also bring moses they all to e wrong way... lolx.. yup, really gonna thx angela, robin, keith, zheng kang n michelle for e game ya?? without them dun think we will have so much fun u know?? think most of e credit goes to zheng kang bahz... he go retake photo for 3-5 times worhz... quite hard for him.. ya.. its tiring for him to walk around and retake those photo again n again u know?? but well, this program is cool!! haha, went to pizza hut to eat dinner after e program... den at there know that sebast faint at orchard mrt station there... oh man.. after that isaac nose bleed... its scary u know? n isaac is having a high fever!! omg... yup... very afraid that something will happen to him anytime... so after awhile bring isaac to hougang mall to buy tea for him to cool himself down le den bring him back to his hse... yup... really very afraid at that time... oh well, think i'm thinking too much huh?? ok, think thats all ya?? bye all n take care!!
isaac!! u ar... 39.2 degree still dare to come out ar... wah lao... very scare of u lehz... pls la.. next time gt anything wrong better tell us lehz... dun force urself k?? hao bahz.. u just get some rest k? good nite n take care alwayz... god bless...
Friday, December 10, 2004
Haiish... todae morning julian sms me to go suntec with him.. but i reject him le... haiish... coz too tired liaoz.. so never go out with him... wake up le den very surprised to see so many e-mail from moi One Camp frenz!! cool ya?? so todae chat with rachel through e-mail.. well.. rachel is cool!! she seems to be so quiet at times but now she is so chatty :) haha.. its so fun talking to her.. and just now i read ade de blog le... sorry ade.. doesn't mean to leave u alone de... kinda sad seeing u lyk dat.. hope next week our gathering u will cheer up ya?? promise wun leave u alone anymore... i will alwayz be there for u de... dun be sad anymore k?? and gen u r great, so happy chatting with u in msn :) same for richard n audrey too! love u guys lotz!! oh ya... i'm going to buy a new shoes soon :) hees... so happy.. hope can buy a pair of new shoes by next week bahz... hope wun cost mi over $70... if nt i will be broke... lolx... kies... update till here liaoz.. luv u guys alot!!
Thursday, December 09, 2004
haha mi lai update le!! ya.. todae morning wake up den pei sebast n robin go paris ris to bowl... den coz moi hand nt completely healed so i neber play norhz.. den sit down dere watch them play... aiyo... quite sianz de la... den after dat go play 1 round of pool with sebast... haiish... lose nvm... moi hand crack again somemore... sadness... can keep on hearing moi hand e bone cracking de sound... lolx... den quite pain de worhz... ltr abt 2+ go isaac hse slack till 7 go eat dinner norhz... eat le jiu go cell le... ok la... lyk moi cell group alot... den dunoe lehz... dunoe should go into "bag" anot... if i go le den li wen they all how... haiish... gonna ask jessica they all bahz... den reach home le very surprise sia!! haha moi one camp frenz send mi e-mail etc!! hehe.. so happy sia!! den adeline oso gt write testi for mi.. haha... den next week dunoe when going outing with them le!! woo!! so excited sia... hahas... wanna faster see them worhz... miss them alot liaoz... hees... hao le.. todae update till here le... take care all...
all rite!! genevieve n elena u all ROX man!! so proud to have u guys in moi team!! ok.. see u guys soon!! miss ya!
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
warh!! i hate it man... todae morning gt to go for dental appointment again... y can't they chose other time?? 8am n i had to reach outram park mrt dere... oh my goodness... all rite... todae had my 4th shot of injection... lolx... power man... den after e dental i sms li wen den she neber reply... think she go back to china le bahz... den neber send li wen off norhz... actually wan to send her off de... so sad... den i reach home le go orh orh den help rachel play neopet... den add moi one camp teammate in friendster n msn... wahahaha... we going to hab a meeting den go out together... hehe so happy... den can see xiao zhu zhu (adeline) they all again liao... haha... so happy sia!! kies... update till here le... bye bye...
eh... mei ar... hope u gt read moi blog bahz... er... i reali nt interested in u lar... so sorry worhz... didn't mean to say those those things de... yup... dunoe wad to say to u le... u just take care k??
Monday, December 06, 2004
todae finally cum back from moi one camp le... oh man.. tis camp is fun!! woo!! i wish e camp is 1 week rather den 5D 4N sia... den can talk to moi frenz more over dere... just luv my grp man!! i luv genevieve n adeline they all man, they r just cool!! n e worship over dere is cool!! i luv e worship over dere sia... all e ppl is just so hyper u noe... but sad to say... they r far better den our church de worship... our worship youth is just standing ard n clap u noe... in camp u can see ppl jumping ard n shouting anywhere!! wish sooner or later our church youth will become abit more "hyper" during worship bahz... reali lyk one camp's worship... den e concert oso shout till soar throat liaoz... lolx... think tis is e best camp i had ever go le bahz... if next year i can go again i sure go de... hees... yup, everybody over dere is cool!! they even invite jerry from e singapore idol to e concert sia... hahas... den gonna miss adeline, genevience n rachel they all le... tis few days reali very close to them when we go out... go out shopping etc... hahas... den sure will miss julian de!! our "gud" tour guide... lolx... alwayz bring us wrong way n lost our way... lolx... he is cute... ok dats all le bahz!! I MISS U GUYS!! U GUYS ROX!!
den now i reali hate steven liaoz... wah laoz... he very **** up wan lor... keep on gossip n say bad things abt mi... i talk on fone nia den say is agnes... i cannot talk to isaac mehx?? kaoz... den wad... i siting on other side of e parade square n talk on fone... den he say wad i chatting wif li wen... wah lao!! wad e **** is he thinking... reali stupid lor... dare to talk behind moi back so much den dun dare to tell mi... once see mi walking towards him den he just stop talking liaoz... ******* attitude... everything jia wei or agnes la... make up so many damn rumors den wad?? i wun be angry mehx?? knn... still be our church youth e leader somemore... useless leader... everyday give us those stupid briefing abt dunoe wad la... all useless talk lor... den sandar they all oso angry abt steven... he very wad lor... sat we need to go out to do street-e... but he ask us to go play pool lehz... but becoz friday we gt 1 programme marh... den onli eat abit dinner nia ( just plain rice)... den he say wad he very touch... den keep on asking us to do street-e... wtf?? he is e onli 1 thinking of playing u noe?? we noe dat we gotta do street-e n we wan to do it!! but he keep on asking us to do norhz... lyk our fault lyk dat... such a idiot...
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
oh man... ytd go to hospital for check up le den e doctor proof dat moi leg n hand e bone gt crack... wah lao... sianz sia... dunoe wad to do for e one camp... hope god will bless n protect mi bahz... reali dun lyk moi life now ya?? such a horrible life i am having now... i wonder if without god i will survive anot... well, i'm stupid isn't it?? thinking of all tis negative things of life instead of those gud things in life... i'm a idiot isn't it?? n now finally gt free time to go for a hair cut le =) hahas... wanna cut moi hair so long ago but now den i gt time to cut... god's timing huh?? den wun be updating moi blog for e next 5days liaoz... kies... take kare guys...
mei ar... u still too young to hab stead le larhz... aiyo... den sorry oso worhz... forgot to tell u dat tmr mi going for moi church e camp... den wun be able to chat wif u for e next 5 days le... so u must take kare kies?? stay happi alwayz!! miss ya!
